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March 2, 2011

Wednesday 2nd March 2011 – Lower School Monster Stories

Filed under: English,Year 3-4 @ 2:34 pm

In Literacy this half term, the Lower School have been developing their descriptive writing as part of their overarching ‘Monsters’ topic.  Using Pie Corbett techniques, the children learnt the traditional tale ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ and adapted it with their own main characters, monster characters, hero characters and settings.  The quality of all of the children’s stories was outstanding and all the children addressed at least one of their writing targets during this unit of work.  I was very proud of the class’s efforts.

Please take the time to read and enjoy these intriguing tales by Brandon (Year 4), Annabel (Year 3) and Zac (Year 4).  Each of these authors really developed elements of their writing style or technique during this unit: whether it was extending sentences using connectives and additional detail; varying sentence openers; punctuating dialogue or using commas to demarcate clauses.  The stories have been typed as written – all that has been corrected is the spelling.

(Report by Mrs Milne)

Billy and the Seaweed Monster

Once upon a time there lived a boy called Billy who lived with his mum.  Unfortunately Billy’s dad died in a car crash when Billy was three years old.  Now Billy is nine years old.  Billy is a joyful, happy and kind boy because he helps his mum a lot as she is really ill. 

Early one morning Billy’s mum said “How about fish and chips tonight?”  Billy said “I will go and get them.”  “Okay” said Billy’s mum, “But don’t dilly dally on the way.  I know how much you like to chat.”

Billy strolled along the beach.  It was dark and dingy.  The sea was dark blue and the rocks smelt of seaweed.  On the way to the fish and chip shop he met a policeman.  “Where are you going?” he asked.  But listening behind a huge rock was a seaweed monster.  It was so slimy you would slip up on him.  In an instant he heard Billy and the policeman talking.  The seaweed monster slithered as fast as a snake to the fish and chip shop.  The seaweed monster hid in the till.

Eventually Billy arrived at the fish and chip shop.  In the fish and chip shop it was dark and cobwebby because it hadn’t been cleaned for months.  He smelt a seaweed smell.  He asked for the owner but nobody replied to Billy.  But then someone answered “What do you want?”  Billy replied back “Fish and Chips please.”  “Take whatever you want” said the owner.  So Billy took the fish and chips.  Through the window Billy saw his sister Estella.  She was wearing a new sun hat.  Billy took the fish and chips and sprinted out of the door to Estella.

When Billy got out of the shop the owner turned into the seaweed monster and crept up behind him.  Billy smelt an unusual seaweed smell.  He felt strange like something was behind him.  Billy checked his pockets and noticed that he had forgotten his wallet.  He remembered that he left his wallet on the till.

As he turned round he saw the terrifying seaweed monster slivering towards him.  Billy was scared but he knew that he had to face him if he wanted his wallet back.  Billy tried to scare the monster off by stamping his feet but it didn’t work.  The monster roared and slime came out of his mouth.  Billy saw the policeman and shouted for help.  The policeman had a bike with him and cycled as fast as he could to Billy.

The policeman arrived with Billy and had his truncheon in his hand.  Quickly the policeman popped the seaweed monster’s blisters.  As he popped each blister the monster got weaker and weaker.  He shrunk until he got small like a slug.  Finally it was clear that he was dead.

“Thank you so much” Billy cried to the policeman.  “You saved my life!”  “All in the line of duty” replied the policeman.  The policeman had spotted the ugly seaweed monster making his way to the fish and chip shop.  Billy went and got his wallet.  Gratefully Billy sped of home and told his mum of his terrible ordeal.  After he had eaten his fish and chips he felt much much better.

(By Brandon)

The Mystery Man and the Bookcase

Early one morning, when the sun was rising, a boy called Simon awoke.  He didn’t know what an adventure he was going to have today.   Simon was a wise boy with a wide imagination intersecting with a mass of creativity.  Sadly, he was getting tired of the same old thing.  Simon lived with his mum in an old cottage.  He and his mum had grown very close to each other since Simon’s dad had gone.

That day his mum didn’t feel a hundred percent (but she really just wanted to settle into a nice book) so Simon cimbed the stairs to the bookcase.  Simon saw a peculiar but large book.  He tried to pull it out but it would not budge.  Simon took a mighty heave though it only came out half way.  He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the bookshelf opening like a door.  He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him so he walked onward. 

Simon trudged into an enclosed dark room with slimy wet walls.  Siman saw this tall man in a tuxedo and a trilby lined with a massive white rim.  Simon thought he had seen this man outside near the city’s casino but he wasn’t sure.  The mystery man said “What are you doing?” and Simon explained frantically, although the man could understand.

“I was just getting a book for my mum and the bookshelf opened, I’m so sorry that I disturbed you” Simon said panicking. 

“Calm down, all you have to do is go back through the bookshelf to your mum, also get me a snack because back there’s a picture of hell so there’s not one restaurant at all.  Oh, and forget all about this, OK.”

“OK” Simon replied.

Simon went off to the bookshelf leaving the mystery man and not knowing that an unexpected surprise was listening to every word they had said.  The thing that was listening was draped with bandages and baggy jeans ripped with age, and was covered in saliva dripping from his tooth filled mouth.  It had a heart from a human, a brain of a God and vital organs from mythical creatures, all put into one zombie skin.

Simon was afraid to open the rusty old door so he kicked it and walked through.  The bookshelf shut behind him and there was a distinctive shadow hovering over it.  “Mum?” Simon said shaking.  No reply.  After that Simon began to worry.  “This is not good,” Simon said wearily. 

Then a bigger, but the same, mum popped out of nowhere from the top of the bookshelf.  “I thought you were ill?” asked Simon, wondering what was going on. 

“I am,” said his mum doing a fake cough.

“And why are you so big?” Simon said, unknowing of the monster inside his mum’s clothes.

“I went to the gym,” said mum shakily.

“Right,” Simon agreed in an unbelieving way.  “One more thing…WHY ARE YOU ON THE BOOKSHELF?!” Simon shouted feeling crazed and suspicious.

“ALL THE BETTER TO JUMP ON YOU!” shouted the monster ripping off his clothes, or mum’s clothes, launching forwards.  Just then the mystery man came through the wall knocking down the bookshelf with a mighty scissor kick.  There was a shiny object in his hand.  It was an A-17 Peacemaker.  The mystery man smiled proudly. 

Lunging forward, the monster clawed the air but the mystery man was too quick and blocked it.  Then he thrusted the palms of his hands towards his chest but not so he touched him.  It created a huge line of air so strong it made the monster fall back.  The mystery man slid his hand across the floor then threw his arms in the air thus making a great earth wall come up from the floor.  The creature, not knowing the great earth wall was there, jumped forward hitting the wall with a mighty crunch!

“Ah, all better!” sang the mystery man.

“Not really,” stammered Simon pointing at a crack.

“Brilliant,” said the mystery man sarcastically.  The mystery man clicked his fingers.  There was a spark in his hand.  After that it went into a flame.  He threw it at the confused monster.  It fell to the floor.  The mystery man got out his Peacemaker and killed the monster with not one, not two but three mighty shots from his gun.

Then they heard mum come up the stairs.  They panicked. 

“Don’t worry I know what happened,” she said.  “I watched it all from downstairs.  And what a talent you have!” mum said sweetly to the mystery man.

“I guess I could take a little time off now!” laughed the mystery man.  So the mystery man married Simon’s mum.  The mystery man taught Simon the elemental magic and they all lived happily ever after.

(By Zac) 

Mya’s Close Escape

Many years ago there lived a little girl called Mya.  She was seven years old.  She always wore a purple top, violet skirt and cardi and light purple boots.  She was a very jolly, likeable and willing person. 

Once bright sunny morning her mother said “Take this basket of treats to your gran.”  Into the basket she put a biscuit, fruit cake and much more.  So she skipped through the forest.  As she travelled down the muddy path she looked at the forest’s nature.  She took in the massive oak trees, the grotty moss blanket and crooked bent pine trees.

Then out of nowhere the woodcutter was there.  He was a brave and helpful person.  “Where are you going?” he asked Mya in a friendly way and Mya explained.

Secretly a hungry vampire was hiding behind a tree listening.  She had long black hair, fangs dripping with blood, black boots and a long black dress.  Smiling suspiciously she turned into a black bat and flew off as fast as the wind to find Gran’s cottage.

Finally when Mya reached Gran’s cottage she admired the pink walls, familiar grey thatched roof and the flower on the purple door.  When she stepped in she took in the polished table and chairs.  To her surprise there were beauty products on the floor as well as bonnets, dresses and medicines.  Gran was lying in a little wooden bed with pink floral bed covers and pillows.  But she looked very strange because she had long black hair drooping out of the bonnet and her ears were like a cherry and so was her nose!

“Oh Gran what strange ears you have!” cried Mya.

“All the better for hearing you with,” snapped Gran.

“Oh Gran what a tiny nose you have!” whispered Mya.

“All the better for smelling things with!” screeched Gran.

“Oh and what big long teeth you have!” trembled Mya.

“All the better for SUCKING YOUR BLOOD!” screamed the vampire leaping from the bed!  Mya was scared so she jumped back for safety. 

Luckily whilst Mya was hiding in the corner the woodcutter burst in.  Mya was so relieved and not scared any more.  She jumped behind the woodcutter.  Eventually the woodcutter spoke but the vampire interrupted “I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER SPEAK!” 

“I will kill you!” yelled the woodcutter. 

“Oh will you?” screamed the vampire suspiciously.

“Yes I will!”  And at that moment he did with not one, not two but three mighty blows from his axe.  With that the vampire was dead!

Mya was so happy that the vampire was dead.  When she stopped staring at the dead body she adjusted her eyes on her Gran, who was alive!  She ran and hugged her Gran for dear life.  Thank goodness she was safe.  Finally she was able to spend some lovely time with her Gran eating cupcakes and drinking hot chocolate.

(By Annabel)



3 Comments »

  1. Well done all of you, I know how hard you worked and enjoyed reading your stories.

      Mrs Brown — March 2, 2011 @ 6:49 pm

  2. Loved the stories……….Very inspired children !!

      Jean Bender — March 4, 2011 @ 7:12 pm

  3. I spoke to a large number of pupils from the lower school last week and they told me how much they enjoyed the topic on Monsters. Superb writing – keep up the great work.

      Mr Campbell — March 14, 2011 @ 9:49 am

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